Disclaimer: Yes, I am a Mental Health Professional, but I may not currently be your personal provider and this blog content does not create a provider-client relationship. This blog content is for educational purposes and should not be seen as medical advice. You should consult with your personal licensed mental health provider before you rely on this information.
He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently against that house, and could not shake it, for it was founded on the rock. Luke 6:48 NKJV
Does your relationship have a foundation? Is that foundation solid? More importantly, what is that foundation? I know, I know you’re probably saying, “why so many questions”. I found that these are questions most couples don’t ask……until the flood comes. But don’t run away just yet, go get your shovel, you still have time to build.
Your relationship may face a variety of storms: financial, health, parental, intimacy, trust, and time, just to name a few. If not firmly grounded, most couples will find themselves quickly drowning from the impact of these storms. A Christian relationship must be grounded on a solid foundation if it is to weather the storms of life. What is this solid foundation? I’m glad you asked. The Rock whom Jesus refers in Luke chapter 6 verse 48, is God. When you put God first in your Christian relationship, he will aid you and weathering life storms. God will improve your character and give you wisdom to aid you in building a deeper relationship with him, which will increase your connection and establish your foundation.
These three powerful tools are essential in building a strong Christ-centered foundation for your relationship: Love, Faith and Patience. There are additional tools by which you could build your Christian relationship on, but these helpful tools will get you started. Now that you have your toolbox, let’s go to work.
If you were to ask a group of people to define love you may get a multitude of definitions, for no two people will define love the same. But why not look to the love book to get the true definition of love. We may all be familiar with John’s dictation of love as beautifully said from the One who is love, Jesus, in John Chapter 3 verse 16, better memorized as John 3:16. But we can fairly say we aren’t aware of anyone else who has demonstrated that kind of love. There are various scriptures in the Bible that we can reference to get a better description of love. But the one that I’ll reference for building purposes is 1 John chapter 4, verse 19: “We love each other because He loved us first.” NLT. To better love each other it is best to first understand God’s immense love for us. The unconditional love that God shows can be a compass to guide you in your daily interactions with your partner. When you know and feel that you are so loved, it helps you give love. God further defines love as patient, kind, not jealous or proud, keeping no record of wrong, never giving up, enduring through every circumstance, and never losing faith. When interacting with your partner, ask yourself, “am I demonstrating this kind of love?”
As we continue to build, the next tool that will be most helpful for your foundation is Faith. To get a better understanding of what faith is and how it helps build your foundation, we again go to what we are referencing as our toolbox, the Bible. So Jesus answered and said to them, “Assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but also if you say to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea, ‘it will be done” Matthew 21:21 NKJV. This verse reminds us that if we have faith, we can do things that seem impossible or challenging. When the storms or difficulties of life arise in your relationship, you and your partner’s faith in God will help you endure. Increasing your faith in God will additionally aid you and increasing your faith in one another which will keep you grounded. Your faith can also be a seed that can produce trust, commitment and better communication in your relationship.
In this microwave, Jiffy Pop, drive-thru world we live in today, patience is fleeting. Oftentimes, this impatient spirit spreads to our homes and seeps into our relationships. But just as it takes time to grow and mature as individuals, it takes time and patience to grow and mature a healthy relationship that can weather the storms. Patience is an imperative tool in the building process and one that cannot be bypassed if your foundation is to be solid. We’ll go to one of my favorite verses in the Bible, our toolbox, to get a better understanding of the importance of patience for our foundation. My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience James 1:2-3 NKJV. This verse beautifully explains that the storms, trials and challenges of life can be seen as a test of your faith and that by enduring them you can increase your patience with each other. The more storms that you can weather, the greater your patience becomes.
Now I never said that the building process was easy. Building takes works and it can even get a little dirty… but the reward is great. When you look back on your relationship and see that you’re standing firm when all others without the same solid foundation have fallen, you’ll see that it was worth the work!